Bob and Sue have been married for six years. They own a home, two nice cars, have a four-year-old son, and they both have good jobs. The couple have sex about once a week, and consider themselves to be happily married. What’s wrong with this picture?
Well, when Bob and Sue were newlyweds, they had sex every day, sometimes twice a day! Even before Sue got pregnant, they were down to twice a week. When Bob Jr. came along they were down to once a week, and that has settled in as a pattern.
According to the 2006 American Sexual Behavior Survey, couples in their twenties have sex every other day on average, while couples between thirty and fifty have sex twice per week, and older couples engage in sexual behavior only once per week. So, we see that Bob and Sue are performing like seniors compared to the national averages.
There is certainly an argument that if this is the right frequency for this couple, and if the sex is good, then they’re doing great and should carry on. However, both partners report individually that more frequent sex is desired. And this is not surprising given that:
The average man has eleven erections a day.
The average woman reports that having sex makes her feel sexy and loved by her partner.
A national study revealed that over seventy percent of couples value sex more than money.
Couples under fifty who have sex less than once per month are at a higher risk of divorce than their sexy neighbors.
Although Bob and Sue both desire more frequent sex, both partners report that, “It just doesn’t happen.”
So, what’s the plan?
Well, many married couples report that sex dates helped get them out of the sexual doldrums. Although it may sound naughty, it is all perfectly legal. And sometimes naughty is just exactly what a couple needs.
Exactly what is a ‘sex date’?
A sex date is like any other date. You have dinner dates, your movie dates — why not a sex date? Here’s how it goes. You’re at the office, working of course, and you hear that special sound that alerts you to a text from your husband. You might thing, “I wonder what’s wrong,” or “He’s probably texting to reminding me of something.” You dig out your phone to have a look and, woah!... He has written, “I’m horny and thinking of you.” Hmm? You reply, “Well, I’ll be around. I might be able to squeeze you in.” Now we’re cookin’ with the start of a really nice little sex date. See, all perfectly legal, and just a little naughty.
At home later, dinner, dishes, tucking in Bob Jr., and a bit of TV will be a very different affair than they might have been had no date been made. And, depending upon where the texting went after the ;) …the couple might even try some new and interesting things, or things they haven’t done in years… too many years.
Sex dates can also lead to having sex at different times of day, or in different locations, adding a new twist to the relationship. Let’s say the response to the above was, “Well, I have to go water my mother’s houseplants on the way home, meet me at 4:00 on her leather sofa?” Okay, maybe Mom’s house isn’t appropriate, but you can see the possibilities.
Life is precious and short. Don’t let the passage of time steal your special moments. Try sex dates with your partner. I hope you’ll post on my discussion board to let us know how it worked out for you ;)
